.....

why must good things always go bad?
i was getting happy again, like the reall kind of happy.
im so tired of god and his stupid games.
i dont believe he even exists anymore, its ridiculously stupid to believe
someone/something created us and is that "strong" and "powerful" and can't, oh
excuse me, wont stop all this bad stuff that happens.
there's no excuse its cruel.
im done.

birthdays

so friday i turned 18.
im not sure but i believe that is supposed to be somewhat of a mile stone in my life.
i dont feel it.
the total "happy birthdays" i got was 5.
now some people may think thats sad but the people i heard it from
i know really care about me.
it wasnt one of those things where i had to say it was my birthday they just remembered.
it was a really good day and now that i think about it
i have not been sad in awhile. atleast not that gut wrenching cry yourself to sleep kind of sad.
im getting better and that gives me hope.